The number of people I respect slowly shrinks. Do I expect too much? Maybe, but that's me, at least I admit it. Studied for calc test with Narbeh at the library, which went really well. I can't study at home, I would have gone to the park like I usually do, but it was already too dark. At work, wow... so much to do. As General and Operations Manager of TGP, I'm basically in charge of organizing the company. It is a mess! Give me a few months and this company will be on its way to doubling net profits in less than a year. On top of that, we got our new project, codename GoodSteak (just thought of it actually). Charles is doing a good job of getting ready, but Thursday's meeting is what will define it all. A few issues to discuss, a few things to finalize, then off to the racetrack of real life. I love being at work. It completely takes my mind off of myself and all the things that are fucked up in my head. How odd that I'd kill to have someone to hold, but that the best thing for me right now is to concentrate solely on work. I don't know, let's see where life takes me.

Someone said to me yesterday that they look up to me. Wow... now there is something I would have never expected. I don't think he realized how much I was taken aback by that, since I was sort of speechless and didn't really respond. I hope I never ruin that image of me. On that note, this struggle in my head is getting so crazy. I seriously have multiple personality issues. Fortunately, they only show their true side at nights, which is when no one is around. My old personality, the insecure, depressed bastard is still trying to survive, while my newer more confident me is trying to become the de facto me... and trust me, I feel the tug-of-war. I hate the old me. It'll take time I guess.

I've decided maybe I should try letting my hair grow out a bit, and just trim the sides and back, what do you think? I've never done it, and I think I can get some interesting results, especially if I do scattered highlights again later on. AND I NEED TO WORK OUT! As soon as my back issues are solved, I shall start. I have to make an appointment with yet ANOTHER doctor for my back. I just want to be able to walk without feeling like an iron bar is shoved into my spine!

Off to the showers, then sleep. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?