I'm tired as hell but I'm going to post anyways. First I went to the orthopaedic doctor, and after an examination he said it is defintely a disc problem, now we just need to know how severe. Long story short I have to get an MRI tomorrow at 2pm to see how bad the bulge is in my disc. That sucks.

*#Y$*&Y@#*Y$*&#@Y$&Y@#($&(*@#&*#, I called Mary and asked if she was still interested in a job, so we will see on the 2nd. I hope it works out, because I would love to work alongside Mary.

The candle machine FINALLY arrived today. After one year of assembly in Germany, it has arrived! Big dilemma was how to remove a 600 pound machine the size of half a room into the warehouse. We ended up calling one of Chris's friends who had a tow truck to pull it onto its bed and settle it down. Total time: 2 hours. Yes, 2 hours to unload a damn machine. We will probably end up paying someone from Germany to come over and show us how to use it, because it will probably cost us more (by way of money, resources, and time) to get the hang of it ourselves. I for one don't want to be "playing" around with a $30k machine.

10pm: Work completed. I know this because I have implemented a timesheet system for everyone to use and abide by. Everyone must check in and check out, and only I can override the checkin and checkout times. Niffy che? It will help us see how many hours people are working, even though we are paying them salary, not hourly. Still comes in handy.

After work was done, we went to Gourmet 88 to eat some nice Mandarin cuisine. I love that place! Oh man, especially the Hot and Sour soup. WOW that certainly tastes YUMMY!

I came home and couldn't resist the urge to open my brother's gift that I got him and watch it myself. Just something about Spongebob's Complete 1st Season that is irresistable. While watching, I was also playing Monopoly with Silva. Beat her twice :-)

So now the day is over and I'm getting ready to go to bed. Very VERY sleepy, and I have to wake up early tomorrow so that I can go and undo the damage #$#$%$%#$@#. And with that, my loves, I leave you with the picture of the day:

What a grrrrrrreat day! I woke up at 2pm, took a nice shower, then went downstairs for breakfast. Lo and behold my mother put harisa on my plate to eat.

"Mom we eat this for dinner, I'm having breakfast."
"Well its already 3, what else do you want to eat?"
"BREAKFAST!"

After I finish my dry bread for breakfast, my sister and her family come over! So for the next 2 hours I was wrestling with Ani and Anush. Oh man I have to tell you. I feel so soooooo wonderful when I'm with them. True true true love I swear. Oh wow... Ok enough with how much I love and adore my wonderful wonderful nieces. I left at 5 to go to the mall, which was still packed! Got the rest of my Christmas shopping done, and got to see Edrik at Build-A-Bear. Oh man he looks so... Edriky... wearing the Build-A-Bear t-shirt. Oh and Silva was working too.

[c2hlIGxvb2tlZCBzbyBwdXJlIGFuZCBpbm5vY2VudCBhbmQgZ29yZ2VvdXMsIHdpdGggd
GhlIHdheSBoZXIgaGFpciB3YXMgYW5kIHRoZSB3YXkgc2hlIHdhcyBzbWlsaW5nLiBTa
GUgd2FzIGV2ZW4gYmVpbmcga2luZCBvZiBzaHkuIEdvb2Qgc2lnbj8gV2VcJ2xsIG5ldm
VyIGtub3cuIE5vdGhpbmcgd2lsbCBoYXBwZW4gYmV0d2VlbiB1cyAodGhpcyBJIGFscm
VhZHkga25vdykgYnV0IGl0XCdzIHN0aWxsIGZ1biB0byBnbyB0aHJvdWdoIGFsbCB0aGlzLg==]

(that's a very easy one too btw, and remember: if you do decode it, please keep it private. Oh and if anyone does, the next one is gonna be harder and I'll pay them if they get it)


After my Christmas shopping was done, Mary and I decided to chill. First we say Pickwick, then we get lost.

"I know where it is Arthur, we get on the 5 South and make the exit that has a big wizard hat near it."

Yes, those were her directions. After driving for 30 miles, we decided there is no wizard, never will be. So we just went to Jewel City Bowl (is that what it's called?) and bowled a bit. Now I have to tell you, this was only my second time in my life bowling, and not to brag or anything but I bear her like.... umm.. something that gets beaten really badly.... yeah.

Here is where the great part is. We go to In-N-Out to eat something. She says, "Arthur you really have to try the grilled cheese sandwich." What is a man to expect? I don't know, but I sure as hell was expecting some damn meat in it!! Yes yes, very disappointing. So there is the day. Not bad, che?

Tomorrow morning at 10am I have to go see this doctor in Beverly Hills. "It's expensive so it must be good." What a stupid mindset I havel but after all I've tried for my back, that mindset kind of kicks in. I hope it goes well.

Oh yeah best part of the day: I was having a talk with my parents, and we sort of calculated how much they both make together, and I realized it is something I could be doubling in 3 months (if things go well). So I said dad, in 3 months I want you to quit your job. First thing he said is "well what am I going to do them?" Good point. So we ended up deciding he will be making the kinds of rings he really loves to (and only he can do in the company he is working for now) as a consultant to the company. That way he can do it whenever he wants, can charge more for it, and if there is a time when there are no rings to be made (slow season) then no sweat because I'll have all the bills covered, and much more. I love it. It has ALWAYS been my dream to finally be able to take care of my parents and to give them back everything they have given to me. If things go well, I want to buy them a house for next Christmas. Now wouldn't that be a nice way of saying thank you for everything? Let's hope work continues as planned.

i just wanted to post cuz its almost 4am :-)

So is it possible to describe that feeling? That deep pain inside that goes straight from your heart up your throat, muffling anything you could possibly say. Those more-salty-than-usual tears that sting with every blink. That quiet aftermath where you think about all the good times, and how now there is an incredible emptiness that sucks up every damn piece of life in you. Yeah.. how do you describe that feeling? Happy one year.

I wrote this last night in bed at around 3am... doesn't really make sense, but it's kinda interesting

to love someone
to hold someone
to touch soemone
to feel someone
to spend every waking hour
seflessly living for her
to bear life's greatest difficulties
with her hand in mine
loving, soft, innocent eyes
the magic they have
to make every crisis seem
only as a challenge
to give meaning to life

modesty in life, extremity in love
it is not to love like you've never been hurt, but to love knowing it's worth every pain in the world
to love knowing tomorrow might never come, and to not care since, with love, life is already complete

it is so strange to actually feel these emotions. these amazing feelings of love just bursting inside me
an avalanche waiting to explode.

it's not possible to quench this thirst for love. i have learned that the hard way. it is not a goal to reach, it is a choice, an opportunity, an assembly of fate, and it should never be taken for granted.


There there is this, which seems to switch gears and discuss religion and God:

What is God but our desire? It is the comfort in knowing complete purity exists. That innocence is not dead. But the trush is that God is in all of us. God is not a person, God is a mindet. It is living life selflessly. It is having an absolute and pure heart. It is never winning at the expense of others. It is sacrifice that brings utter and unimaginable happiness, not pain and loneliness. The top is a lonely place only because it was reached by sacrificing others, not yourself. This is where love comes into play. Love another selflessly, and if they do the same to you, you will realize heaven is not so far away, and that the voice of God is her quiet whisper.


Interesting che? I think I'm going to start posting all the things I say during those hours, because I am a completely different person, with a very strange and hauntingly different pespective.

You ever get the feeling you've bitten off more than you can chew? Well all you gotta do is keep chewing and the pieces slowly fit. Yes, work. A lot of juggling, a lot of tradeoffs. I wish relationships were like work, then at least your given the chance to prove yourself. But then again, I'm not much of a pre-relationship guy. I don't believe in stupid little games or the power struggle of who is the one that wants the other person more. Oh please!

Another realization, woman always bitch about guys being so shallow right? Well we aren't the ones buying $300 purses. Just look at the malls. Point made. Arthur 1, The World 0.

Next up: document imaging. Great idea che? Scan everything in (you can even use a duplex scanner to scan both sides at the same time) and keep an indexed digital archive of everything you need. No more keeping thousands of receipts, contracts, bills, etc etc etc. The only issue really is the cost of those scanners. You don't want to be using a regular flatbed because that will take too long. ADF (Automatic Document Feed) is the way to go. Too bad those scanners cost you a minimum of $600.

And as always, we end the post off with love. Nothing else is like it. I will never stop being in awe of its power.

EP ZPV SFBMJAF UIBU JG ZPVS NPUIFS IBE UIF TBNF NJOETFU BT ZPV, ZPV'E OFWFS CF CPSO?

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!! I'm sitting here at the office waiting for two other people to come so we can do a meeting. I still got some Christmas shopping to do (good thing we do the present transfer on new year's eve). All I want for Christmas is... nevermind, I won't be getting it anyways. Oh well! Ok, take care everyone, don't drink too much. If you do, give me a call and I'll give you a ride home. MUAH!

RIMWIY F LJ BLIIFKC, F'J KMS RTQA FB SDLS'R CMME, OTS RDAR RSLQSFKC SM JLHA JA SDLS 'RNAVFLI' DLNNY

no its not the same easy encryption as the others.

Saw "ELF" today with Mary and Judith, what a cute adorable movie! I loved his innocence!! Anyways, great day... a lot of work, got about 6 days left before the Jan 1 deadline, so we're rushing like elves!!

Hi this is Arthur the Elf, what's your favorite color?

Sad... che?

Are there any decent girls out there that don't care about physical appearances? I mean to some degree it's ok, but when it comes to an issue so stupid, you have to wonder where their heart is. Heck I wish there was someone that loved for what's inside, and didn't care about anything else..... I'm still mad........still mad..... yup...... ok, anger moment over.

Day starts off with Zareh and me going to Johny Rockets for lunch. Pretty cool. Then we decide to go to the mall and visit the Build-A-Bear crew. I bought Angela a turtle named Squishy :-) Zareh had to leave so he did, and then Talin and I went christmas shopping. Went pretty well, I'm pretty much done except for a few people. My back is sooo killing me, this is the reason I hadn't gone christmas shopping yet. Oh well, I survived. Important meeting tomorrow soooooo BYEEEE

WOW! What a GREAT time i just had with Mary. I was done with work so I decided to call Mary to see if she wanted to go get sushi. Well she didn't pick up, so I was driving home cuz I had nothing else to do. Then she called me and said hey what's up want to go get some sushi? How cool! Ok so we go to this sushi place on brand (Abba or something) and she makes me try these WEIRD things. Sweet shrimp.. DON'T GET IT! The shrimp had his eyes still on it and it tasted soo weird! Then we got this quaill egg with japanese potatoes. It's supposed to be like viagra or something. Tasted sooooo bad.

Then we decided to go to Gitanas. Very cool time, just chatting. Walked around and went into some weird stores where we had a blast! "Hey what a cool clock, what time is it? I can't tell!" <-- Inside thing, don't worry about it. She's such a great friend! After all these years, only having seen her once in my life before we started talking again, and we picked up like we had chilled everyday. Very glad to have friends like her.

I was supposed to go to Hirma's today too, but after I dropped off Mary (which is now) my back started hurting like a chipmunk on fire. Yes yes, that bad. Oh well, I still had a great time :-)

Work report! Chris thought of another business idea, a very different one from what we're doing... can't say what it is, but it seems like a very cool, on the side kind of thing. That's business number 6. Racking them up aren't I? We bought QuickBooks 2004 and now we're putting in all the info for it so that we can get it running by January 1st. Completely paperless, and the goal is to triple profits by the end of 2004. Let's see huh? Oh and Chris and Vahe were playing around with thousand dollar cameras, it was fun! Now I know why the pictures in magazines are so different and why no regular camera has the same effect. Shallow depth of field, blurring of foreground and background while maintaining perspective and focus on the subject. Allllllll because of the camera. Cool che?

Ok, first entry I'm writing using "PowerBlog." I'm not sure why I need a different program to do this but it sounds fun, che? Anyways, what a day! First, I went to the office to finish up a few things, then headed to the acupuncture doctor. This time it hurt at least twice as much as it did last time. In fact, it hurt so much my nose started bleeding. After he was done torturing me, I paid him and said thank you. He said it is most likely a bulging disc and I might need surgery, depending on what the MRI shows. I have my appointment with the other doc on the 29th, and then I'll probably get recommended to a specific MRI location, then see what I do with that. I dunno. Sucks how one split second caused so much pain.

Anyways, I realized hey wtf am I doing?!?! I can't be looking for someone cuz that's not how it works, and that's not how I want it to be! I want to be friends with them, then become closer friends, then become best friends, then one day while we're out hanging out look at eachother and boom, everything changes. Now isn't that the most beautiful way? It's actually the only way I know how, although I'm more used to it happening one way hehehe. So, that issue is taken care of.

Now only more important issues, like christmas gifts! I haven't had time to go shopping, and I'm not exactly in the shape to walk around the mall for hours looking for gifts. The most I can walk is a good 3 minutes, and that's on a good day. I might have to make this year an online shopping event.
Speaking of shopping, I was thinking of what material things I want, cuz I've never really sat down and thought about it. Honestly, I can't think of much. So here is what I would do if I had $100 million dollars:

- Buy my parents a house
- Pay off my brother's house
- Pay off my sister's house
- Put aside 1 million dollars for each of my nieces for their college
- Buy my brother a Lamborghini
- Buy hundreds of dress shirts, dress shoes, and dress pants
- Diamond tennis bracelet :-)
- Invest $50 million in a CD, which will earn me about $2,000 a day in interest, after taxes.
- Buy the best gifts for my closest friends
- Donate $500,000 a year to charity

I can't think of much else.

She does not see me
She does not feel me
She does not need me
She does not want me

In the end it's fine
Losing rest, and losing time
In the end, it won't be my death
For one night I had her breath

I don't change I am the same
Show my smiles, hide my pain
I don't change I am the same
Cleanse my soul with the fallen rain

She does not see me.
She does not feel me.
She does not need me.
She does not want me.

In the end it's fine
Losing heart, throughout time
In the end I have seen
The poisoned path, the failing dream

I don't change, my heart is game
For all to taste, for some to feign
I don't change, I am entire
Just sometimes, my eyes lose their fire

I do not see me.
I do not feel me.
I do not need me.
But I do need her.
- Ethan MacPhee

Hey I actually have time to post! Cool che? OK well, what a day! First we met the president of the Ventura County bar association... apparently he is going to be our corporate council. We decided to issue 100,000 shares, 30,000 of which are going to be mineeeeee all mineee. Which gives me 30% stake and vote in the company. Then we went on to deciding roles. I would have said heyyy CEO, that sounds fun, lemme do it. But right now, no. I think its better that I handle the position of CFO, and have Charles be the CEO until we get to the point where he can concentrate solely on sales. Plus, he is the perfect image of a CEO. It's like hiring a model, you might be doing the work, but their image helps A LOT (no he's not a model, but he has the traditional CEO look and the matching Type-A personality).

We are going to have everything set by the first, so that our fiscal year matches with the calendar year. Then we're gonna have something I am sooooo looking forward to: our first Board of Directors meeting. The attorney will be there as well to guide us in our first meeting. Vahe is the Secretary of the company, which is actually a very big role. He is in charge of making sure all the documents are in place and that the minutes of the meetings are documented. This is how, as I learned, limited liability is acheived. See when someone sues the company, they are also going to sue the individual executives as well. To get out of being personally part of that, we have to be able to show minutes of meetings and full documentation of *everything* so that only the company is liable. Nifty eh? CFO... Chief Financial Officer. It has a nice ring to it huh? Ohh and some useful information for all you people who plan on starting your own C Corp. Since the corporation is seen as a seperate person, double taxation occurs. Which means that the business gets taxed on the profits it makes, and then the shareholders get taxed when they get their percentage. Buuuuut there is a way around that! Instead of giving pay through distributing profits, which is called a dividend, treat those shareholders (which are usually going to be the officers and those on the Board of Directors) as employees and give the money as a salary. Salaries are tax deductible for the company, so only the shareholders get taxed. Pretty niffty huh?

Ok afterwards, we met up with Duke, of Duke Design. Now this guy was IMPRESSIVE! He showed us 10 different corporate identity logo designs, so that we can pick one that we liked and have a choice. All of them were VERY beautiful, but the last one was especially beautiful. We got the ball rolling on that, and we should have the business card design as soon as Monday.

Now I have to tell you, there is A LOT to do! On top of all this, Chris just bought 50% of another business, which deals with managing Trucks, which I am also now a part of. So that makes... 4 businesses: The Restaurant Network, Inc., Trans-Gas Propane, eLuni Candles, and the truck thing whose name I completely forgot. I'm going to be one BUSY bee, but its all worth it. The money is going to be great, and I'm also going to have a heck of a resume to show USC. Too bad there are only 24 hours in a day.

Now I'm trying to find information on becoming a partner with Microsoft, which is the path we decided on. Problem... I don't like any of Microsoft's product offerings, and none really match what we are doing. You might have noticed that I have never discussed, in depth, what the company actually does. That's because none of the people that are reading this have signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement! Sign one and I'll be happy to tell you what we do heheheh. Anyways, Microsoft has nothing we can really use, plus the fees are outrageous... buuut we want the name. Going in and say we're partnered with Microsoft makes it so much easier to make a sale.

Wow what a long post. Notice there was not much personal stuff? That's because work is my life for now heheh. I really see it as a multi-million dollar opportunity, especially now that the business model has evolved so much. It's worth it...

The Search for Innocence...

Didnt sleep all night, took my calc test, did ok. went home, tried to sleep. didnt work. went to marketplace with buddies, came home, tried to sleep, didnt work. looked over sociology final study info. took sociology final. marie callenders with anahid, learned more than i ever needed to. talked to mary. still trying to sleep, cant do it.

Anahid is such a great friend. She gave me the biggest self-esteem boost ever. Its been a week of memories. First, I started talking to Tara on a regular basis again. No matter what, she will always be a very special part of me, no use fighting it. Started talking to Yeva, cleared up a lot of the past. Now on much better terms. There will always be a special link between us too. Talked to Alex, haven't talked to him for a long time. Talked to Mary, janaaaa. Yes yes, good week. I have some great friends, and I hope I've made some impact on their lives... good or bad lol.

SCHOOL'S OVER!!! Which meeeeeeans I get to work more!! Oh man I love it, its like one longgg orgasm. I love workinggggg, I profess my love!

innocence... pure innocence.... unstained white wings... they are even more rare than I imagined, but all the better - makes it that much more worth it. I won't settle for less. I want someone so pure that the farthest they would go even after dating for 2 years is kissing... now there's my perfect angel. I know the wait is worth it...

Well I'm as sick as a donkey in Virginia (they can get pretty sick, you know) and I don't think I could have done any worse than I did on my French final... Oh well. I'm feeling a bit better from yesterday from the whole phone call thing. My hands are freezing and my toes are about to fall off. Wow isn't this a great feeling? I hate being sick. Ok back to work! byeeeeeeeeeeeE

How ironic... just sitting here, reading articles on how Saddam was caught.. and umm I got an IM

Tbriggy19: Hi


and then she called... and then we said bye... and now I... I don't know. foolish games....

in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees


i need some time.. bye.

I'm in one of those mood where I think back of all the deep pain.... I hadn't heard Jewel - Foolish Games for a long long time because of all the memories attached. Well... I'm listening to it now, and it all comes back. I miss Tara so much. It's been almost a year since she first came and we had those days. I haven't talked to her for months, I don't even know if she's alive. What I would do to have those days back. This was all started by seeing Yeva today in the GCC parking lot. We got to talking and then she got in my car, and all the memories of everything came back. The scent in my car hasn't changed since those days, and scent is the strongest connection to memory. We listened to our CD, more memories. Then we hugged and she left. After that I decided, since I was already in the reminiscing mood, to listen to some old Tara CDs. Yeah well, strong as ever.

Are the stars out tonight? I don't know if it's cloudy or bright 'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear The moon may be high But I can't see a thing in the sky 'Cause I only have eyes for you.


Bye.

Interesting day... went to see the office we are getting in Century City, was beautiful. Then Chris and I went to City Hall because Chris had to go through the final review for the 6 condo building he is making, and that went great, they approved it. And then we went to Galson Jaguar and leased a 2004 Jaguar S-Type, as a company car. Such a nice car to drive! I'll probably end up taking it out on some weekends just for the fun of it, but we are mainly going to use it to meet up with clients. Things are looking good so far, I hope it continues on this path, and I hope my back gets better soon so I can enjoy all this.

Ohh yeah, I'm also ordering a biometric time clock so that all the employees for Trans Gas clock in and clock out using a fingerprint scan. That way they can't have someone else check in for them, and it's also pretty damn cool! I'm having the experience of a lifetime, and I'm very VERY thankful to have been lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time for all these pieces to fit together so nicely. I know there are going to be hardships, but no one got anywhere in life doing the easy things. On that note, I saw the Austin Martin Vanquish... oh shit my nose just started bleeding... ok anyways i saw the car in the showroom.. its so beautiful (pictures)! I'll get it for my 21st birthday ;-)

Well I've been working from 8am, and its 7pm, so I think I'm going to call it a day and head on home. Take care all you little highlighters and phone cords!

Well I woke up this morning and took half an hour to get out of bed. Then I got in my car and started to drive to school. 1 minute later I was almost passing out. The back pain was that bad, so I called my mom and asked her to come home and take me to the emergency room. After giving me two shots in my back, I got dizzy and fell asleep through the x-ray, and even now I'm still a bit woozy. I still got a long way to go before my back is ok...

After that I went to work (what else would I do?) and Raffi and I went through the financial data of 2003. I want to have all the info by quarter for this year, so that in March when I present the numbers for the first quarter of 2004, I want that number to show that everything I've done has caused an increase in profits. Oh and I met Charles today for about half an hour, we have so far decided to get the Jaguar S Type, although we could change our mind again.

Next I decided to go to Borders to look at a few accounting books. I tell you, DON'T TAKE THE ABILITY TO WALK FOR GRANTED! I can't put one foot in front of another without sharp pain shooting up and down my back. I wish I could just... walk normal again.

So the day ends, and I'm here waiting for Anahid to call so that I can pick up the French notebook to do. Last day of class is Wednesday, and the final is on the 17th. Long story short... I'm screwed. At least math was cancelled again today. It seems like he doesn't show up whenever I don't show up.

Well anyways I got about 10 minutes before I can lay down (my medication for the pain says don't lay down for half an hour, strange eh?) so, till next time, don't forget to floss!

Here is a rather interesting blog that I ended up fully reading instead of doing my French: Belle de Jour

Slept downstairs again today, back is hurting more. My dad and I went and bought the firmer mattress available. It is extra firm, imported from Asia. It's about as close as you can get to sleeping on wood. I like it! The rest of the day was spent with Anahid. I was extremely edgy because of my back pain, so the drive in my car scared the shit out of Anahid. GOOD! After doing 2 (out of the 100) pages for French, we decide to go eat. I can't remember the name of the restaurant, but it's the one in burbank. Anyways, food was ok.

Some memorable Anahid quotes for the day:
"stick a fucking dick in my mouth"
"I wanna suck you"
"Yes I'm very easy"


I hope none were actually meant for me, I shiver at the thought....

Ok off to doing the French and then sleeping on my new mattress!!! (Yes, I am easily excited)

What a beautiful Satuday. I wanted to post yesterday but I had no time. Ok so my mom finds this acupuncture doctor and we decide to see if he can do anything for my back. I go in there and lay down on my back, he sticks the needs into my back and leg. The leg ones were fine, but as soon as he got to my lower back, which is where it has been hurting, WOWWWW. IT HURT!!!! So I'm laying there trying to deal with a needle into my nerve and and I'm thinking, ok this hurts but I can handle it. THEN he attaches electrical pulses to each of the needles. My foot kept kicking everytime the electricity went through it, and with every pulse it felt like an iron rod going through my back and leg. 10 minutes!!!! After it stopped, I felt so damn tired and in pain. He comes back and rearranges the electricity and increases the intensity! The next 10 minutes were the longest of my life! Afterwards he LITERALLY slapped my back as hard as he could! Then he pushed against the wall and put his knee into my back while his assistant shoved her boney ass elbow into my thigh. Then I paid him for the pain. I have to sleep on the ground for a week now and can't sit on any couches. Lovely isn't it?

Ok now that I am done bitching about my torture experience, business is going very well. Within a month or so we will have incorporated the company, having decided on the name to be the Restaurant Network, Inc. We also decided on having a small base salary for each member just to make things equal, plus a percentage of the net profits depending on what percent of the company you own. Among the four of us, I have 30%, so that means $5k a month plus 30% of net profits. Not too shabby huh? We are shooting for $100k in sales for the month of February or March. That should give me about $10k for that month. I don't really care about the money, its the fact that we are actually getting somewhere and that we have someone (Charles) who is working day and night on this. If I only got a dollar a month, but the business was successful, then I would be more than happy.

Yesterday my brother said something that I will never forget, something that I will do anything to prove wrong. We were checking out car sites and he said what kind of car do you want to look at, so I said a Lamborghini. He turned to me and said "ehh say something thats reasonable. You will never get that car in your life." Ohhhhh man how much I hate it when someone says I CAN'T DO SOMETHING. GRRRRRRRRR. Ok so now I will not only prove him wrong, but I will buy him a Lamborghini too. TAKE THAT! Just give me a few years so I can get out of my credit card debt :-)

I don't know what else to say, other than my back is hurting again.. back to work! Take care all you... you.... paperclips!

Math test went horribly astray. Oh well. It was Anahid's birthday today (dec 3) and for her birthday she got herself a car accident. Isn't that a nice self present? But honestly, I was so damn worried about her. Fortunately, she is ok.

would you give up something good for a chance at something great? We should all reach for the unreachable...


impossible
im possible
I'm possible
I am possible

The number of people I respect slowly shrinks. Do I expect too much? Maybe, but that's me, at least I admit it. Studied for calc test with Narbeh at the library, which went really well. I can't study at home, I would have gone to the park like I usually do, but it was already too dark. At work, wow... so much to do. As General and Operations Manager of TGP, I'm basically in charge of organizing the company. It is a mess! Give me a few months and this company will be on its way to doubling net profits in less than a year. On top of that, we got our new project, codename GoodSteak (just thought of it actually). Charles is doing a good job of getting ready, but Thursday's meeting is what will define it all. A few issues to discuss, a few things to finalize, then off to the racetrack of real life. I love being at work. It completely takes my mind off of myself and all the things that are fucked up in my head. How odd that I'd kill to have someone to hold, but that the best thing for me right now is to concentrate solely on work. I don't know, let's see where life takes me.

Someone said to me yesterday that they look up to me. Wow... now there is something I would have never expected. I don't think he realized how much I was taken aback by that, since I was sort of speechless and didn't really respond. I hope I never ruin that image of me. On that note, this struggle in my head is getting so crazy. I seriously have multiple personality issues. Fortunately, they only show their true side at nights, which is when no one is around. My old personality, the insecure, depressed bastard is still trying to survive, while my newer more confident me is trying to become the de facto me... and trust me, I feel the tug-of-war. I hate the old me. It'll take time I guess.

I've decided maybe I should try letting my hair grow out a bit, and just trim the sides and back, what do you think? I've never done it, and I think I can get some interesting results, especially if I do scattered highlights again later on. AND I NEED TO WORK OUT! As soon as my back issues are solved, I shall start. I have to make an appointment with yet ANOTHER doctor for my back. I just want to be able to walk without feeling like an iron bar is shoved into my spine!

Off to the showers, then sleep. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?

Ingredients in Cigarettes

OK I'm not studying for my math test like I should be doing, but I did just buy chaparyan.com! Doesn't that make up for it? d'echo, guess not. Well I've always wanted to create a site where I can do these posts, show pictures, upload my essays, etc etc. In my spare time, I'll slowly start making it.

On that note, some people can put the biggest smile on my face with a few simple words. Ohhh and I wanna buy Irene a christmas gift. Anahid thinks that's weird, but she has been my symbol of purity and innocence for this whole semester. I don't mean that in any sex related or attraction way! Ok GO BACK TO STUDYING ARTHUR!!!! (feels so weird hearing or reading someone say my full first name, as opposed to Art)

Scorpio Profile

October 23 - November 21.
Passionate, Determined, Energetic.
Color: Dark Red.

Scorpions like to study what makes people tick. Their goal is to unravel the deepest mysteries of the unconscious, to challenge any possible fears, and finally to make their actions correspond perfectly with their feelings. As the sign of death and regeneration, Scorpios can destroy and create with the same intensity of passion. In this vibration all reality- even death- is felt and accepted unblinkingly. It is almost as if Scorpio natives have decided to live with an intensity based on the knowledge that any moment might be their last.

Scorpios have a firm sense of determination that often turns into a form of devotion to whatever it is they need to do to get what they desire. Scorpios know what they want and they have the courage, willpower, and drive to get it, or the pride, self-control, and stubbornness to live without it. In fact, Scorpio is the sign in which self-control is most intense. No other vibration is as relentlessly committed to facing reality, no matter how gloomy that reality might be.

Secretive, extremely intense, they feel that life is a difficult game in which they have to hang tough in order to win. But that doesn't mean its natives are devoid of compassion, Scorpios are intuitive and inspirational, and very protective of people to whom they are attached. Few parents are more devoted to their children than Scorpio parents. Scorpios are very dependable and are very prone to live up to any commitments that are honestly made. Scorpios have a great deal of animal magnetism. People are drawn to them. They are the most sexually secure of all the signs.

This is the sign of extremes. Scorpio people are variously described as powerful, weak, independent, clinging, passionate, and cold. Clearly, you are a bundle of contradictions encompassing the best and worst in human nature.

The key to your personality is intensity. Magnetic, emotional, capable of exerting tremendous force, your strength is hidden in the depths. In the sign of Scorpio the element of water is fixed, and image that suggests an iceberg or a bottomless well. You may appear impassive, sometimes unapproachable, but turbulent passions are always rolling underneath, invisible on the surface.

Scorpios live at a high pitch of emotion. Its negative aspects are brooding, jealousy, resentment, even vengefulness. The positive aspect is your unswerving dedication once your emotions are engaged. The Scorpio energy, drive and endurance are legendary. Above all you seek you give your life a meaningful pattern, to find a deeper purpose.

You have a philosophical turn of mind and may become interested in religion and the occult. Your sixth sense enables you to intuit things before they happen. You are blessed with a native understanding of the human heart and a great awareness of life's secrets. Scorpios delve into the powers of the mind that others are afraid of. This is the Zodiacal sign of birth, sex, death and regeneration - areas of human existence in which a person confronts the mysteries of the universe. Many Scorpio natives are brilliant doctors, surgeons, scientists, and spiritual leaders.

The complexity of your mind make's it difficult for you to skim the surface; you must uncover what lies beneath. Whenever you are studying a new subject, learning a language, hunting down a fact, or just reading for amusement, there is a quality of penetration in the way your mind works.

Your relationships are usually complicated. This is not surprising when you consider that you can be simultaneously generous and affectionate, violent and unpredictable. In your sunniest moods there is always a hint of an imminent change in the weather. You are also deeply loyal to friends but are also intensely jealous and possessive. You cannot tolerate the thought that anyone you love might have a yearning or even a simple yen for anyone else. With you, it is usually all or nothing. Moderation and emotional restraint are not in your emotional vocabulary.

You never forget a kindness and try to repay it handsomely. Conversely, you never forgive an injury and will wait for years to get even. In fact, most of the time getting even isn't enough - you want vengeance. It is strictly not advisable to do harm to any Scorpio. You may make a dangerous enemy, for you are as subtle and as deadly as the symbol of your sign.

You are a fierce competitor, though often you manage to conceal this from others. You file away pieces of information, facts, names and don't hesitate to use what you know if the occasion arises. When you spot a weakness in a rival you move in quickly for the kill.

You are adaptable, able quickly to change your formidable energies into new paths and to embark on an entirely different career. Confronted with disaster, you will try to turn it into success. Practical and shrewd, you believe in tangible immediate goals, and your single-minded concentration on getting what you want is formidable.

Clever with money, conservative about spending, you have an excellent chance to amass wealth. In business, you tend to accomplish things first and announce then second. By the time an opponent is aware of your progress, it is a fait accompli.

Your nature makes you subject to obsessive drive, which can be resistant to reason. You will dominate and control anyone who lets you. Suspicious and wary, you are reluctant to trust your heart to anyone, but once you do, you love deeply.

Scorpios are ver loving, generous, kind, loyal even gentle. Many idealists who adhere to high principles and have a great positive force for helping others are born under this sign.

What all Scorpios have in common is intensity of feeling. Emotion not only rules, it characterizes you. You are passionate in love, and passionate about everything in which you become involved. You are an individual painted in vivid colors; There is not such thing as a pastel Scorpio.

Fatal Beating of Man in Custody Probed

What the fuck is that about? Just because he was 'black' means the cops were being racist huh? If the crackhead wasnt on PCP, maybe he wouldn't have gotten himself in that situation. GOOD! HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEATEN HARDER! BLACK OR WHITE, HE WAS A FUCKIN IDIOT! I hate it when the damn NAACP starts bitching whenever a black person, who is OBVIOUSLY a threat to society, is handled by the police. How come the bastards don't complain when a white man is beaten by the police? They're almost as bad as the KKK. Damnit it pisses me off. Ok. Phewww...