Was es ist

Es ist Unsinn
sagt die Vernunft
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe

Es ist Unglück
sagt die Berechnung
Es ist nichts als Schmerz
sagt die Angst
Es ist aussichtslos
sagt die Einsicht
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe

Es ist lächerlich
sagt der Stolz
Es ist leichtsinning
sagt die Vorsicht
Es ist unmöglich
sagt die Erfahrung
Es ist was es ist
sagt die Liebe

- Erich Fried

Interesting little episode today. During work my back started hurting a lot more than usual, and I ended up laying down on the floor. For about half an hour I couldn't move, and I started shaking and sweating. Chris took me home to get my pills, and I took 3 different prescription drugs and 3 advils. That totally knocked me out for 2 hours, then I woke up and called my doctor. I got him to schedule a pre-operation on Monday, and the actual operation on Thursday or Friday. I am probably going to go with Friday, since Saturday is a much easier business day and I can afford not to go. So pretty much umm one week from today I'm going to be under the knife. Hard to believe. Let's see what happens, c'est la vie!

Wish me luck.... I'll need it.

Just to make it more comfortable for me to do this in the next couple of weeks:

Amazing how easily some people can just ruin your day.

Oh and.... surgery is for sure. I don't know if I want to go through the insurance crap, so I just might pay cash and get it over with. Under the knife I shall go.....

I have had it with girls! All their stupid little games and shit. Hey I would give my everything for my gf, but I'm not about to beg someone to give me a chance. Maybe they're just not stable enough. Whatever, their loss (and mine).

12 hours of work, Elephant Bar with Armine, and now here I am at home.

WWpJMWJFbEhUbTlaVnpWcVdsRTlQUT09

Ok fine the only reason I'm writing this blog is so I can post the cool picture at the end! Regular day at work, except near the end when one of the older drivers, Sako, came in and pretty much decided Mary and I are getting married and that he is the best man. Not only that, he decided the honeymoon location (Armenia! I'd NEVER honeymoon there!) and how the kids (what kids?) should be handled. Oh man you had to be there.

After work Mary and I went to Zono sushi, tried some octopus (SICK!) and umm here I am! Great day, great people. I'm so damn lucky.


And finally, the reason I posted:

[screenname_removed]: you know, life would be so much easier if you would just fall in love with me and sweep me off my feet so i didnt have to deal with guys anymore

FA LLenS Eraph5: girls > guys
FA LLenS Eraph5: if u dont agree, marry a guy
BaSeBaLLa5: noo i dont aggree but when im maryin a grl its a BEST MAN thats supposed to b standing next to u
FA LLenS Eraph5: its a woman your sleeping with
BaSeBaLLa5: its a man ur going out with to find a grl to sleep with
FA LLenS Eraph5: but would u rather be going out with a girl to find a guy to sleep with?
BaSeBaLLa5: only if i was gay
FA LLenS Eraph5: point made

YourMom10048(03:38:16): hi... silva?
Strawberry PJ(03:38:20): ya
YourMom10048(03:38:30): Are you online alot?
Strawberry PJ(03:38:46): who si this?
Strawberry PJ(03:38:52): ya i am..i'm a loser liek that
YourMom10048(03:38:56): stacey 17/female/CA.
Strawberry PJ(03:39:32): k that's wonderful....however
Strawberry PJ(03:39:36): how do u know my name?
YourMom10048(03:39:42): ok.
Strawberry PJ(03:40:50): i get the feeling u're not a real person
YourMom10048(03:40:54): Are yuo still there?
Strawberry PJ(03:40:59): yup and i'm right
Strawberry PJ(03:41:03): k who's bot r u
YourMom10048(03:41:07): i cant wait ot get out of high school, it sucks.
YourMom10048(03:42:19): uh helol? why aren't you talking?
YourMom10048(03:43:22): dont be so antisocial....
YourMom10048(03:43:26): i am playing these netpal games. they have a lot of free and fun games, you should check them out.
YourMom10048(03:44:28): we should talk more?
YourMom10048(03:45:37): Please talk to me
YourMom10048(03:46:41): we should talk more?
The user has blocked the bot! Conversation ended...

Today was damn cool! Work went well, very busy and hectic as usual, got a few more days to finish up the indexing application so that we can scan in all documents. Then 5:30 came around...

First, I met Talin and Shant at Ichiban and did what most people do there: eat sushi. Shant's parents were there too, CUTE! After a little over an hour, Shant left and Talin and I went to Alex Theatre for the Peking Acrobats! IT WAS SO DAMN AWESOME!!! Going with Talin made it 10 times more fun of course. I have to tell you, the show is AMAZING! They do the wildest thing, and even Edrik was in it (only Talin would know what I mean by that). Ok fine I'll let you guys in on it too. In between the cool acts they had these few guys that acted like dorks who added a bit of humor to the show. One of them acted just like Edrik, Talin and I had a blast with that one. Oh my little one was so cute too! She did all these cool little stunts. And for the finale, Talin and I got a chance to see what carpooling is like in China... 10 guys on one bicycle :-)

Watch a video clip in Windows Media format

Watch a video clip in Quicktime format


If you want to go see them, they are going to be at UC Long Beach tomorrow and Torrance on Sunday. Tour information here.


And last but not least, THANK YOU SO MUCH TALIN! You made it sooooooo much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's summarize the last two days. Yesterday I went and got Starbucks with Yeva and caught up with everything. I miss those days, and I'm glad we can chill once in a while and feel all those things again. That was pretty much all of yesterday (mainly because I have the memory of a dented cardboard box).

As for today, after work Mary and I went to Gitanas and chilled there. We had planned to stay for about half an hour.... ended up staying for almost 4 hours! I even got to see Ruben, Narine, Hasmig, and Herma. 9:30 we headed back and I dropped off Mary, then picked up Anahid to go to Marie Callendars. Hadn't seen her for AGES so we pretty much took turns telling eachother what was new in our lives. And now here I am at home, hi!

Interesting realization... I'm ok with being single now. Before I was so damn lonely and was so desperate, now I'm very content with everything. If something works out with anyone special [heh] then great, but I'm not going to go out and look for it. I want a very chill relationship. See eachother whenever its cool for both of us, hang out, cuddle, hold hands, soft kisses. Those kinds of things. It's like a good friendship (which, in my opinion, all relationships should be based upon) with a little more closeness. Cute che? I just want someone I can make happy. As a friend or more, doesn't matter, a smile is worth everything.

That's it for now.... I need to sleep early from now on, it's killing me getting up early and sleeping late. Bonne nuit, mon amour.

Oh man what a day yesterday was. Forget the family stuff, the day at Irvine was damn cool. I finally got there at around 3, and Silva was waiting with her sister. So all 3 of us go to Michaels and mess around the store. Random laughter. Sister drops us off back at my car and Silva and I go to the Spectrum. Walking around and laughing randomly, struggle with Monopoly (you bastard) and then off to the movies. Now our plan for the last month was to go see The Last Samurai. Unfortunately, it was only playing at night, so we decided to go see Along Came Polly. Great movie, very funny. Silva decided to throw popcorn down my back so I had oil on me the whole day (anamot!). Window shopping, then Silva decides to show me the "Doll House." It is this house that doesn't fit in with any of the houses nearby and is supposed to be scary. I found it rather unique and beautiful, but that's me. Then we get lost for the next half hour, driving in no specific direction while singing in the car (she still needs to be trained so that she REALLY sings in the car). Back to her dorm, where we play Simpsons Monopoly and she kicks my ass again. Damn woman! We get hungry, so off to BrandyWine for food. Not bad actually. I tried the garden burger... yes ME the carnivore! It wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't give up my steak for that. With our stomachs full and still laughing, we go to the music room where Silva desperatly tries to teach me Chopsticks. Funny thing about it is that I had learned that piece fluently back when I was taking piano. Sadly, I had forgotten everything so I wasn't doing too well. I'm surprised Silva didn't give up on me sooner, but we tried and she ended up calling her friend Nancy down to play the piece. I was surprised Silva loved the piano so much... good thing to discover. Back to her dorm where we chill for a few more minutes, then I decide to go home (it was already 10:30pm). 120mph on the freeway and I got back to home territory in 25 minutes. Not too shabby huh? Unfortunately the 605 to the 5 connector was closed, and so were all nearby 5 entrances, which left me lost in the middle of East LA (yes, again... 3rd time I've gotten lost in East LA). I call Mary for emotional support, she's really sick. So I tell her to go to sleep. I call 411 twice and no one picks up. Last resort: bother a good friend. I call Emin and he helps me find the 110N to the 5N... thank you Emin! Finally get home at 12:20am and I'm spent. I hope she enjoyed the day at least half as much as I did because I had a blast! She turned out to be a pretty cool friend after all :-)

OH! Anush was over because my sister and my brother in law, along with Ani, went to a wedding. Kids are the most adorable at the age of 1.5 - 2.5. Soo innocent and carefree. I recorded Anush laughing on my cell phone, it is the CUTEST laugh EVER. I have the most adorable pictures of them, I'm going to have to scan them in someone, they are too beautiful to not share with the world. Ok I got work tomorrow from 8am so good night everyone. Sweetest of dreams. Hug your parents for no reason, it's the best present to a parent.

The days fly by so fast that I hardly have time to even post. Work is great, will take till the end of this month to iron out all the issues. Yesterday after work Mary and I went to Ghitanas and ate frog legs. They are actually VERY good! Taste kind of like shrimp. Anyways... wow there really isn't much I can say publicly huh? Does that make you wonder what the private things are? HUH? HUH? HUH? Well too bad! You can't know. First time that I've actually not told anyone, which is a good thing. Some things are just too personal and too sensitive, and this particular issue needs to be dealt with over time. What am I talking about? I'll probably never say, but this blog is for me, not you, so HA!

Surgery? No surgery? Depends on the time. When it doesn't hurt as much, I decide that I'll just hang in there for a few years and see if it gets better. When I have my 'moments', I'm just about ready to run to the emergency room and scream "CUT MY BACK BABY". Just about.

Give me something else to talk about.... Being a workaholic is damn cool! At times I get so damn stressed, but most of the time I love it all. The whole rush of it, the responsibility, the decision making. Beautiful.

a hand to hold
lips to kiss
someone there
for me to miss

Since I don't have a scanner to scan in my MRI pictures, I will have to show a sample from the web that looks pretty similar. Mine is pretty much the same except on the disc lower down and a bit more severe:

Wow... not the best of days. Went to my doctor today and checked out the MRIs. Large herniated disc, requires surgery. To add to the dilemma, I no longer have insurance so I have to pay $15,000 cash for it. I'm not worried about the money, I'm worried about being 19 and having back surgery, which has risks attached to it, namely not being able to walk again. I don't know, I'm just going to wait a few weeks and think about it....

Other than that, the day went pretty well. Working with Mary is always fun, and we went and got our nails done afterwards. I hadn't done that for a while, but I think it makes a person look more clean cut. Then Jason came and I left. No big secret that I don't like the guy.

Work is very hectic, but I love it. I have a lot of responsibility and a lot of say, which is something that means A LOT to me. Once January is done, things will be much easier. First Annual Restaurant Network Board of Directors meeting is tomorrow, rather excited about that!

Interesting thing I've realized about money. I don't like it. I always thought I'd love to have money and buy all these things, but now I don't think that way at all. I rarely buy anything and don't care much for more than I have. I'm content. I love working, and I don't care if there is no money involved.

While I'm discussing realizations, let me share with you the most beautiful and innocent girl I met today. She was on the corner of Wilshire and Western (in West Hollywood) and she was homeless. Oh my god she was so breathtaking. Truly the most innocent face and expression EVER. The light turned green so I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but I did end up giving her $50 for being so beautiful, and I felt so bad someone like that had no place to live. I swear if I was living on my own I would have given her a place to live (and no, not do anything sick. She was too pure and innocent looking... I'd just admire her from afar).

On that note, forget girls. I realize my standards are way too high for anyone to be able to achieve them, including me. No girl this age is stable and mature enough for me to be completely content with. I'm going to give up on that search and just let things be. I get enough love helping others.

It's Saturday and I'm not at work. You KNOW something is wrong! Yes, yes, something is definetly wrong: I'm dying sick! It's been a week so far and I've just gotten worse, which is why I decided to not work, since I've been working about 10-12 hours a day all this time while being sick. Not smart stupid Arthur! So let's list my symptomps: Fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, ear infection, pink eye, and to top it all off, my damn disc problem. I'm a MESS!

Work is going great, Mary is fitting in real well. One great thing about her (amongst other things) is that she is a cleanliness freak! Yay I'm not alone! We got all of 2003 open invoices put in, we got statements printed, and we got all pending slips for 04 in there. In one month, things are going to be so much easier. I'm still amazed Chris gave complete control of finances and daily operations to an 18 year old kid, but I'm making sure he doesn't regret it. Heck I've already cut operating costs by 30%, organized all finances, and set up everything to merge the 2 companies into one within a couple of months! I LOVE my job! I thought I wouldn't enjoy it as much because it wasn't a tech company, but I realized I love business finances and operations, no matter the business. I'm going to set up the company so that within 3 years, we could have the option of selling it for at least 4 million (being conservative). The Restaurant Network is going great as well. Haven't been able to do much because of the holiday season and the Tran-Gas cleanup, but now that it's over, we can go back to that. First Annual Board of Directors meeting is on Tuesday with the attorney showing how it is done. I am so damn excited!

Still sick. Went to work at 8am, came home at 9pm. Not bad for a sick bastard huh? A few interesting things. After work, I decided to buy a rose for a stranger as Mary and I were passing by the flower shop. So I did and then dropped of Mary while I went back to work. At 9 I decided to head home and took 15 minutes to find a house I wanted to drop the rose by. It felt GREAT! Now I'm chatting with this guy online who was mass IMing people advertising real estate. Very unique marketing tool, don't you think? It just FEELS right to be nice and kind to strangers. I've been bitching about people being bad, ungrateful, and dishonest for WAAAY too long, time to do something about it.

I also hadn't noticed the dark circles under my eyes. I'm hella sick huh? It's ok, working tomorrow morning from 8am again show help. I was supposed to go see The Last Samurai with Silva but she has to do her moving in tomorrow so we ended up rescheduling.

Now here I be, with the Cambells soup and me... MUAH!

My voice is COMPLETELY gone. Poetic Silence.


It's still so very painful to hear her cry.

Wow... I just have to post again. My neighbor just came by and gave me these two pieces of dessert she had made. How nice of her! And the smile on her face showed she really did it from the heart. I dunno, but that really changed something in me (no it wasn't poisoned, plus I didn't eat it so I wouldn't know). From now on, random acts of kindness. It is truly a different feeling, and it can't be matched with anything else. Heck I just found an organization for it too! Didn't even know such a thing existed!

I know it sounds stupid, but it's the little things that truly make you stop and think, and I'm thinking.

Haven't posted because I've been so damn sick! Fever topped at 102.2 which isnt' TOO bad. Yesterday I was covered with 7 blankets and my dad covered my entire body with vodka (kinky huh?) so that helped reduce my fever down to 100. Now it's still 100 but it's alright. Dude Nyquil is so damn thick! GRRR

Ok so my alarm clock does it thang at 7:20am and I'm wondering what the hell is going on. Snooze. 7 50 my cell phone goes off with an alert: "Wake up sleepy Jean"

OH SHIT, GOTTA GO TO WORK! So I pick up Mary and off to work. It's GREAT working with her, makes work a lot less stressful and she's great at helping with everything.

Ya so umm still eating chicken soup, my brain feels like that hot soup so I can't think much either. Till I can think again, BYE!


DAMN THIS COUGH!!


Thursday is gonna be cool! :-)


This one's for Ester(and Sirvart):

How some people can put a smile on my face with a few choice words. I can count those people on one hand, just the way it should be :-)

Wow... so much for sleeping at 9pm! I had a really bad fever and ended up not sleeping at all. Then my parents took care of me for a while in the morning and I slept a good 3 hours. I feel so damn sick!!

1am: lying in bed sick and i get a call, its chris. "hey arthur i feel like gambling, wanna go to a casino?"

1pm: lying in bed sick and I get a call, its chris again. "hey arthur i wanted to go golfing, wanna come?"


Interesting huh? What a cool guy!


i'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

Before I go to bed and see what sleeping at 9pm feels like, I'd like to summarize my day :)

Morning comes, I wake up at 2pm. Check the Bally's site and realize headquarters are not open on weekends so I call Mary and tell her that we will have to go Monday. Hmm.. breakfast time! So i get in my car and go to trusty ol' IHOP.

"I'd like a Steak Stacker to go please."
"Sorry sir, we're all out of stackers."

I argued for a while with the waitresses and asked for directions to the next IHOP cuz damnit I wanted it! They laughed and giggled and gave me direections, then when I had gone outside to my car, they said from the loudspeaker "Good luck with the Stacker cutie." Yayy ugly girls hitting on me. Depressing. I decide to not drive 30 miles to get to the next IHOP and just eat my usual 5 double cheeseburgers w/ no onions from McDonalds. Off to the office and work till 8. Don't feel TOO sorry for me, in between I was playing Monopoly online with Silva, in which she brutally killed me, and made damn sure I knew she was winning. Then I got dizzy, drove home (smart move Arthur, drive while your dizzy) and here I am, no longer in my weird mood but still dizzy and sick nonetheless. Oh and here is the comment of the day, which is the coolest thing anyone has EVER said to me:


Strawberry PJ: im gonna bite ur scalp off
Strawberry PJ: and chew it
Strawberry PJ: and lick ur eyeball
Strawberry PJ: and then bite it and eat it
Strawberry PJ: then im gonna razor off ur nose
Strawberry PJ: and feed it to my dog
Strawberry PJ: then im gonna snip off u're lips
Strawberry PJ: and stick them into the power outlet
Strawberry PJ: then im gonna take forks
Strawberry PJ: and shove them in ur butt
Strawberry PJ: :-D YAYAYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA
Strawberry PJ: u can take ur fingers and shove them up ur butt too
Strawberry PJ: them ill mash them
Strawberry PJ: with a masher
Strawberry PJ: cuz im gona bite off ur fingers
Strawberry PJ: and shove a knife in ur freakin butt
Strawberry PJ: i hate u rbutt
Strawberry PJ: im gonna cut it off
Strawberry PJ: and feed it to ur mmama
Strawberry PJ: i seriously wanna scrape ur scalp off
Strawberry PJ: with a cheese grater
Strawberry PJ: and then i wanna mash ur bones
Strawberry PJ: and crush ur body
Strawberry PJ: and kill u
Strawberry PJ: KILLLLLLLLLLL
Strawberry PJ: KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Strawberry PJ: :-D
Strawberry PJ: i ate ur skin
Strawberry PJ: and spit it out
Strawberry PJ: u shithole
Strawberry PJ: im gonna kill u
Strawberry PJ: and eat ur eyeballs
Strawberry PJ: and mash them in between my teeth
Strawberry PJ: and crunch ur ears
Strawberry PJ: ill kill u
Strawberry PJ: u fucker
Strawberry PJ: ill fucking kill u
Strawberry PJ: bastard
Strawberry PJ: kiss my ass
Strawberry PJ: ill shove a pirana up ur ass asshole
Strawberry PJ: fuck u

I feel so weird and dizzy and cold and sick and sick... and I don't think its something physical like a flu or cold. Something just feels wrong, and I don't know what it is. Maybe it's _____ or ____ but it hadn't gotten to me before, why now? I don't know, my hands are frozen. A strange analogy just popped into my head. Love is like a nice warm shower. Then the water turns ice cold and your left there, freezing, hoping you can feel the warm water again.




it's cold.

ok it probably is a physical illness, probably from working too much and the fact that its 4 degres celcius outside. I was just in one of those odd moods again.

Intereeeeeeeesting day today I must say. Went to the office for a while, then had lunch with Ara at the Rusty Pelican. Great talking to Ara again, I missed that dude. Talked about what we would do with our millions, went off on a tangent and discussed a bit of philosophy. After, I called Mary and her and I decided to go to Norwalk to dispute a bill. Good thing neither of us had a clue about where Norwalk was, and good thing Nextel 411 gave some vague directions. Long story short we got lost in the middle of East LA, driving around Union Pacific St, where the first railroads actually went through. It was damn creepy! A few hours later, we decide to give up for the day and head back home, which in itself was a tough task. Got some fries and ate them parked in front of... the park. Then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's car and filled up gas on the way home. Oh and I finally got a chance to give Marina her wittle gift.

I had ordered The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it finally arrived today. Haven't read it much, but I'll post as I get more into the book.

Other than that, nothing else I have left to say for today that I can share.
01101001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01110110 01100101 01110010
01111001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100110 01110101 01110011 01100101 01100100

Haven't had a chance to post these last couple of days. On Tuesday Ester and I went to Ichiban to eat some sushi. Random che? Then after Yeva and I went to Starbucks, then drove around. Random again. That was Tuesday's summary.

New Year's Eve! Worked till 4:30pm then off to my sister's house. We had said no gifts because other kids were going to be there and we didn't want a big fight over gifts. Went great... drank, ate, and had a good time. By 2am my back was killing me and I was tired as a gift receipt! Called a few people to wish them a happy New Year, although it was tough because all the networks were jammed (I tried other cell phones so it wasn't just Nextel). And 2003 is over...

Today my brother's and sister's families came over, and for the first time ever, I was more excited to give gifts than to receive them. It was well worth the money, I can't wait till next year!

I wish you all a very happy new year, and best BEST BESTEST wishes! It's a new year, a new beginning. Read a new book, get involved in a hobby or organization. Do something that you will be proud of come December 31, 2004.