Since I can remember, I have always been amazed by the world. I knew, I just knew, that there had to be some kind of universal force that fuels everything. Some said it was God, others claimed physics, but we all felt in our hearts that something more was powering everything that was happening. Something with ENDLESS supply. Today, I discovered it. I have solved the problem. The answer is simple, the answer is clear. Proof is all around us: when you go to the supermarket, when you are driving on the freeway, even when you are watching television. The answer is no surprise to anyone that has experienced life. The force is overwhelmingly evident, and the proof even more overwhelming, and - at times - downright annoying. The answer, all my fellow readers, is this: The word, the universe, is fueled by stupidity; all the idiots that drive 30mph in the carpool lane, the endless supply of morons that are on daytime tv, the incredible stupidity of people at the grocery store. No one can doubt that such stupidity is omnipresent. Everywhere you turn, there's a stupid person waiting to annoy you.

Initially, I felt such stupidity must be eliminated for the better of the world. But, after closer inspection, I realized that without these idiots, we will not exist. There will be no offsetting balance for the intelligent, the thinkers, the leaders. The world would become one uniform and perfect machine, but will have no power. In conclusion, I would like to thank all you stupid idiots out there for fueling the intelligent. Now get off the road!




and don't say you'll call if you aren't going to!

OK, it is official. I am cursed. Tire blew out.... AGAIN! I get on the freeway, and I'm about to make the Pacific exit. There's a guy on the side of the road fixing his car and I see him throw something into the road. Of course it has to go under my tire and before I know it, I feel the familiar feel of a flat tire. I stop at the gas station, which luckily has a mechanic shop, and they change my tire for 95 bucks. Great waste of money. Very edgy the entire day after that, mainly because I had 2 essays to write for tonight's class. Went to my doctor at 1pm and he said the swelling in my back should go down in about 6 months. Of course the first thing I ask is "when can I start doing situps again?" He looked at me, chuckled, and said "the next time you do situps, you'll be 20." Ouch. I start pool therapy at a "certified pool therapy location" in 2 weeks. Yay. Didn't have time for the 2 essays. Decided to drop English 104. Shrug.

In other news, Harry (business partner) got the cl55. Oh so sexy.

Wow.. ok

First, Armine and I went to IHOP, then we wanted to go to the beach. Unfortunately, her parents didn't let, so I just drove around for a while. I called Anahid, and after taking 40 damn minutes to get ready, we headed off to the beach. We didn't actually stop at the beach though, we just kept going. After driving through coastal scenery, farms, mountain ranges, and towns, we got back to Glendale somehow. Being so damn hungry, we decided to eat at Picanhas. Oh yes, I am a Picanhas whore. I was there yesterday with my family too. Sorry to digress. Anyways, we ate and then I went over to Yeva's and we drove around for another long time and had a wonderful chat. Day ends, and here I am. So damn happy.

Miles driven: 220
Hours driven: 5
Gas wasted: $20
Having such an enlightening experience: priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's credit card debt.


let's see the world

a river, a razor, a hunger, a flower

afraid of breaking, afraid of waking, afraid of dying

just remember, in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow,
lies a seed, that with the sun's love,
in the spring becomes a rose

Everyone turns to me, who can I turn to?

Yesterday was an interesting day. Anahid and I drove all around Glendale and Burbank, then headed to Calabasas, then somehow ended up in Malibu, at the exact spot her and I, along with our dates, were on prom night. Interesting huh? The purpose of all this was to find a random place to eat. Didn't happen. We came back to Glendale at 11pm, hoping for some IHOP food. IHOP was closed. Damn. We ended up eating Jack In The Box. 100 miles of driving to eat at a place half a mile from my home. Nice.

Today, nothing happened. Shrug. Had a nice nap though.


I guarantee you we will see the first trillionarie in our lifetimes - the fortune will be made in outer space through the use of nanotechnology. Watch.

If you are interested in the technology, read The Nanotechnology Revolution (the complete book is online here) It is a lot of reading, so you can skip to some of the more interesting sections, such as Chapter 7.


This image was created to show one of the possible applications of nanotechnology in medicine in the future - microscopic machines roaming through the body, injecting or taking samples for tests.

As many of you know, I often struggle with trying to explain how much I love my nieces. Today I got home after class and Anush and Ani were there. I love them more than I love everything else combined. What I feel for them truly is pure and unconditional love. Wow, I get such a rush when I hug them and kiss them, and when I see their innocent faces shine with the most beautiful smiles when I walk in. I am truly lucky..

Ok, I'm back to earth. Phew. First off, it was a very hectic day at work. Picked up the business cards, so now we have everything we need to go to market. They look very good, and so do the brochures. Let's go! I also had lunch with Yeva, then went to my brother's house. Rush back and have lunch again with Vahe and discuss religion. Vahe is my fellow business partner and a wonderful guy. He is also a very devout Christian. We have the most compelling arguments, and even though I don't see us ever agreeing, the discussion allows me to see things from his perspectives.

Off to class where the teacher gave us 8 extra points on the test just for staying after break. What a sad world it has come to. Then I totally lost respect and trust in someone. Oh well.

And now here I am, trying to get a hold of Charles and thinking of philosophy in my head.

Now I'm ready for you.

Any person who is completely for one side of an issue is naive and ignorant. Issues and debates exist because there are no clear cut answers. Rarely in life is anything black and white. Any truly intelligent person will concede that the opposing viewpoint has some valid points, even if they only apply in certain circumstances. The goal of debate should not be to overpower and win over the other side, but to expand the intellectual horizon of both parties; only then is any argument truly useful. The strongest argument is an example that proves there are exceptions against any generalization. If, at the end of the discussion, both sides feel they have learned something new, if both sides have gained a new perspective, then the discussion was truly useful.

It feels SO right. Most importantly, it stood the test of time.

Day by day, I am more myself. I finally don't feel so imprisoned in this mind and body. I am free, more free than before, and tomorrow I will be even more free. I'm growing, and I'm finally ready.

Saturday morning econ class is never exciting, but I managed to get through. It is brain numbingly easy. He asked "If Bill Gates announced he will lower the price of all his software to increase demand, will that statement be true?" I happened to be the only one who said no, and I explained that the drop in price will only affect quantity demand. Apparently, high school econ is still in my memory.

After class I went to work for a couple of hours, then headed off to Huntington Beach with Paul and Ara for Emin's birthday. It was so damn cold, and I completely forgot about bringing a jacket. We started a bonfire at the beach and I got very bored. As many of you know, I get very creative when I'm bored, so I put lighter fluid on the sole of my shoes and lit them on fire. For about 10 minutes my shoes were on fire. They are still hot now, 2 hours later. The soles are almost completely burned. Oh so fun! I ate 5 hotdogs, that's so much processed meat! Anyways, I'm home, and Saturday is pretty much over.

I didn't want to post today. I really didn't. But some things kind of have to be said. Sometimes you end up hurting people without knowing it, and, for me at least, that is one of the worst feelings in the world. And then I saw a dead body on the ground on San Fernando. That's 2 reality checks.

cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am) - Descartes

So beautiful. Went to Samba in Rodanda Beach with Yeva in the Hummer today. It was great. In the middle of dinner, two girls came out and started dancing, but it wasn't normal dancing. They weren't wearing much and they started shaking their bodies like no other. It was sooooo fast! Then we went around the beach check out strange STRANGE signs near the shops there that said things like "ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION ALLOWED. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED." WTF?!?!? As I discovered on the drive back, Hummers are chipped at 100mph, how depressing.

Enjoy the silence.

First let's start off with a summary of today, then some more philosophy. Work was fine - signed off on the prints for the brochures so that should be done by the end of the week, RN is going really well and we are so close to getting things really rolling. I'm excited. 20 minutes before I was going to leave work I almost slipped off my chair, so my natural reaction caused me to stretch my back. Ouch. Big ouch. The stitches came out a little bit, not a lot but they kind of got a little screwed. Oh well. Pop 2 vicodin and I'm mostly ok. Then contemplated going to school because my back was hurting (obviously) and both my knees were going crazy on me. I read the syllabus and realize we have a test today. I had made a deal with the teacher that this test will be worth two tests for me because I missed the last test. So I rush off to school, ace the test without having read any of it (the joy of open-book business law tests) and got out. I called the _Y_ and asked if she wanted to chill. 15 minutes later we're at our usual 113 San Fernando Rd Starbucks. Had a nice talk there, we even discussed the philosophy of self identity. I love her train of thought.

So here I am, hungry again, so I say hey Yeva let's go get sushi. Realizing I had forgotten that she doesn't like sushi, Yeva just goes along with it. I call 3 places and decide to go to Sushi on Brand. Only then do I remember she doesn't eat sushi. So we go in and I end up eating all of it (which was about 18-20 pieces) and she plays with the ginger and miso soup (misov soup ah?). Then we just drive around aimlessly, enjoying every single second of it.

We see a girl about our age waiting at a bus stop, and Yeva makes the suggestion we stop and pick her up. I think its a great idea so we head back and ask her if she needs a ride. Here is where it gets interesting. She says "ya! that would be great! I'm trying to get back to USC, do you think you can drop me off near another bus stop or the train stop?" Sure, why not? Then the very next thing she says is "do you guys smoke weed? I have some if you want any." Umm.. no thanks. On our way to the train stops, she tells us how she is back to visit family, she goes to USC. She used to go to Harvard but went to USC after having a car accident. Then talked about System of a Down, and in between all these statements she keeps mentioning weed. Yeva and I didn't say anything, we were just trying not to breathe in the smell of smoke that was coming off her. Anyway we get to the tracks and drop her off. Despite the fact that she was a pothead, I think we did a really nice thing. Yeva then took me back to my car (we had left my car at Starbucks and went to eat sushi in Yeva's car) and the night ended, on a very beautiful note, if I may say so myself (and of course, I may say so myself, it's my blog!!)

Well that was the summary, now a bit of philosophy. Shant should be good at this, since he has Philosophy 101 with me. The issue is personal identity. What defines who we are? Is it our body, is it our brain, is it our memory, is it our soul, or is there no such thing as personal identity. I had previously believed mostly in the brain theory, in which the belief is that our brain defines our identity, including our memories and experiences. Now I think I am more leaning toward Hume's theory that there is no personal identity; it is a concept we have created for ourselves. People merely connect their memories (which is only a partial list of the memories since people tend to forget things and events) and think of this as themselves. The one part of his theory that I don't agree with is that there is no cause and effect. Things just happened randomly and the world so far has been lucky that the cause-effect theory hasn't failed yet. I don't believe that. If I let go of the ball, it will fall. If I drop it tomorrow, it will still fall. There has never been a time, nor will there ever be a time where the ball will simply hover. Other than that, I agree with his theory. What do you guys think constitutes the self? Is there a soul, and if so, what is its purpose? Does it die when we die? If not, how long does it survive for and what is its purpose after the death of the body? And with those questions, I shall depart with this picture...




PS: The reason I keep posting pictures of cute babies is.... (drumroll) I am going to be the proud uncle of 4!!!! My sister-in-law is going to have another baby!!!!!

On Aggressiveness
Driving home today, I realized the best philosophy is to be aggressive in life. Now I must first define my idea of aggressiveness. Usually the idea of being aggressive has a negative connotation attached. I don't believe getting what you want at the expense of others is the correct aggressiveness. I also don't believe it means trampling other people and having "the end justifies the means" as a life philosophy. I believe aggressiveness is about pursuit. Instead of being passive in life, I believe one should set very high goals, and work very hard to achieve them. The goal could be making other people happy. I guess it will be easier to comprehend if I used the word "active" rather than "aggressive." The active person does not wait for others. You make your left turn, not by waiting for the other cars to stop, but by inching forward enough that you can go through. Does it cause harm to others? In the whole perspective of things, of course it doesn't. Nice guys finish last not because they are nice, but because they are too passive. Ride the horse instead of waiting for the horse to take you somewhere. I feel people are becoming more and more apathetic to everything in life, from politics to their own personal life. It is time for people to take charge of their life, grab it by its throat, and make it do something useful.

Today in philosophy class we briefly discussed existentialism. In short, it is the theory that life has no greater purpose, we do not have a specific meaning, when we die we're finished, and death is eminent. Some people see that mind set as extremely pessimistic and depressing. I find it rather enlightening, because the very core of the idea is that we are free to do anything. We have this free will, with no preset purpose, and it is up to each person to decide their destiny, their life, and their goal. Is that not the most empowering idea in the universe? Each of us are our own God, and I adhere strongly to this belief. As many of you know, I am a very proud and outspoken atheist. I do not believe there is any other entity that has control over me, and can arbitrarily decide my fate based on their idea of right and wrong. Does that make me an immoral person? I would like to think not. In fact, many people see me as a very caring person. I can not argue for or against that, since I am inherently biased toward myself, but I do believe I have enough room to say that I am not a bad person by most standards. I have gone through many years of depression, which is further proof that the idea of full control of life with no greater purpose can be either very empowering or very depressing. I have finally wrapped my hands around the idea and now see it as extremely powerful and optimistic.

I am only writing so I can post the most adorable picture, sent to me by Araks. First, went to work. Tough day, and I wanted to stay late so I was about to call my teacher when BOOM! GCC site says the class is cancelled. I am so damn lucky I tell you! I even sped by a cop at 90mph and he just shook his head. Anyways... I went to get a haircut, it's short, who cares? I've got my trusty visor to cover it all up. Tomorrow I must take my kid to get a tune up (the car!) and then be home by 4 so that the Charter fag will install the system. AND I have philosophy tomorrow.

Why the hell was today's post about tomorrow?

Sundays, always a different kind of day. I woke up at 8 30, unable to sleep. Ester called and reiterated what Anahid's message said: The brunch is cancelled. Damn. So I spent until 2pm at home, and decide I'm going too crazy. I had planned to read for my English class tomorrow, but I don't know the assignments, and I have a paper dude tomorrow as well. Ouch. I emailed the professor, I hope he replies before class so that I can get the paper written. Anyways, back to what I was saying. At 2 I left and drove down Glenoaks until there was no more Glenoaks to go down. Very fun. Then I went all the way across Chevy Chase, which leads to some very beautiful places. After 70 miles, I got back to the office, where I prepared some things for tomorrow's meeting. Then off to Anahid's where her, Ester, Sirvart, Armen, and I hung out doing absolutely nothing. Very productive. Shrug, I loved it :-) Then I went back to the office to finish a few more things, then came home at 11pm. Finished Sirvart's computer homework in 10 minutes and sent it to her. Poor girl (my baby!) doesn't have Excel on her computer. Stupid teachers! At least the day didn't go unspent. Oh and on my 4 hour aimless driving, I tried the Jack in the Box Ham & Turkey Pannido. It was actually very good, and very well sized. And now, for the commentary.

I love driving alone with nowhere to go. Actually I enjoy it more with select people, but today I got to really reflect on things. Anahid is right, do what your instincts tell you to do. Let's see how that fares. Back is doing better, I can now sit for long periods of time. Oh how much I've missed running, still got about 2 months before I can do that... Life is life (now wasn't that obvious!). I don't take the Vicodin anymore, so I got 38 I can use for other purposes :-)




I need to make some big changes. I'm happy... but I am so lost in my mind...

Went to school. Got out early since the assignment which was to be the remainder of the class took me a good 2 minutes. Anyways, my back was being a bitch so I decided to not go to work. Rested for a bit then Yeva and I went to the mall to get the long-awaited hat. Well I hate the way hats look on me, so I settled on a visor. Customized it with an A on the left side, Y on the right side, and an 11 in the middle. I love it. It's white, the writing is sky blue. Anyways, we then went to eat at a place that I already forgot the name of, but it was good! Then I got home, and rested the rest of the day. Hmm...

OH and I forgot to mention, it's Angela's birthday today!!!! and tomorrow is Anush's birthday!! They're both turning 2! MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok i have to vent. First of all, went halfway to my doctor, got a call to reschedule, so I ended up in traffic. Then I come home and wait for the Charter guy who was supposed to come. 6pm passes, I call them, get put on hold for 20 minutes, then told ohh I'm soo soo sorry they rescheduled without letting you know. WTF!?!?! As if that wasn't enough for the day, I go to upgrade one of my coworkers phone at the Nextel store in the marketplace. That piece of shit mother fucker. I am an authorized user on the account. I have upgraded, downgraded, switched phones, added phones, etc.. on the account and never had a problem. So I go in and sign off on it, and the guy goes... sorry sir you're not an authorized user on the account. WTF? He calls Nextel and says sorry they say the same thing. I say ok, fine. I go back to my car, but then decide to call Nextel. I call them, they say everything is ok, you're added, there should be no problem. GREAT! So I go back, and now the mother fucking son of a bitch has the nerve to say "sorry sir, I still can't do it. You just added yourself to the list" I say "If Nextel was ok with me adding myself, why the fuck aren't you?" (yes, with the cussing at this point). "I'm sorry sir, I can't do it." So for 2 fuckin hours I call Nextel and go through this back and forth game between the bitch in the store and the rep on the phone. Finally I have Chris, who is at the beach, call and talk to Nextel. He calls me back and says everything is ok. I turn to the guy and say "everything is set, everything is ready." The guy has the nerve, the incredible nerve, the indecency to say "Sorry sir, it's past 8pm, we're closed." His own coworkers througout this time were saying "dude that's fucked up, just do it." I can't believe such stupidity exists.

Just got a refill. Cost me $3.00 for 40. I love my insurance.

I don't want to write the regular nothingness I normally do. It feels stupid. Didn't go to class today, I don't care. Neurontin pills make me so sleepy. No comment about today, words aren't good enough. Sorry. I'm happy, yet sad. Confused yet so enlightened. I dunno. The answer to life, the universe, everything is... 42. I doubt any of you will get that, but maybe someone out there has read the book and is now going HA! I GET IT! I'm too tired. This surgery drained a lot out of me, and continues to do so. I'm nowhere close to 100% yet. I'd say I'm functioning at 50% tops.

Blogs, weblogs, livejournals, xangas. Whatever you want to call them, you can't deny their unique power. A lot of people with whom I'd never talk about these things read my blog and know a little bit more about me. Same goes for others. I read their blogs and say wow I never knew this person was like that, or felt those emotions. I think they're a good thing, but they shouldn't replace regular conversation.

For those that believe in a God (which excludes me):
Are good acts good just because God says so, or does God say so because they are good? If it is just because God says so, then God's commandments seem arbitrary. And what if God does not exist? Does anything go? On the other hand, if God's commandments are made for a reason, i.e. if there is something else (other than God's arbitrary decree) about bad acts that makes them bad, what is it? That also means God himself is subject to these laws. And is God then irrelevant to ethics?

That's a paraphrasing of a small part of Socrates' Euthyphro.


Actual picture taken through the Hubble Telescope. It has been dubbed the Eye of God. Very beautiful isn't it?

what a beautiful wake up call

Oh how incredibly wonderful it feels to be able to walk again. I no longer have to endure the sharp pains that shot through my leg and back everytime i took a step. It feels so incredibly wonderful. You will take walking for granted until you can no longer do it so effortlessly. Then, for at least a little while, you will truly appreciate it. I'm in that stage right now. The tape on my stitches is slowly coming off, and its so cool! Right in the middle of my lower back, where it is normally soft, there is a bulge and it is very thick, not th mention the crimson stitches. It looks beautiful.

Today was my first full day at work. I went at 10am and came back at 5pm. I think tomorrow I'm going to leave earlier so that I can lay down for a couple of hours before my 3 hour business law class. Starting Thursday I can drive again! I might try driving to work tomorrow, but that's the only distance I'm driving.

After day 2 of online picture ratings with Araks, I read the rest of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I am now reading his second novel, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Incredibly funny and witty book. I love it. I still haven't started my essay for english class, which was due... yesterday. I shall start on it now and email it to my professor. Let's see how that goes.

Quote of the day (these take so damn long to find!):
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

And finally, I would like to dedicate this post to the few things in life that make us stop rushing so much and just... smile:

I am a Picanha whore. In the morning, I finally got a chance to go back to work. I missed the place! At 2pm my mother and I went to my doctor, got x-rays, and he said everything is fine. Apparently, they had removed a fragment of bone in my spine to get to my disc, I didn't know that till today. Afterwards, I went with my mom to Picanha's, where I am now a regular customer. Now, I'm sleepy like non-pasteurized cheese (they get pretty damn sleepy!). Vicodin is crazy. Business law teacher said I don't have to make up my test, he'll just double the points on my next test. SCORE. Now I have a 500 word essay to write on advertisement, and I don't want to... therefore I won't. My unshaven face is getting into terrorist territory. I can't bend over to shave, so I have no choice. And it is still so incredibly hot. Summer came early, eh?

Oh let me tell you about the dreams I had. One was of Bugs Bunny, where he got the idea to steal a cop's car. That was funny. Then I had another dream where it was a park, next to a series of railroad tracks. The odd thing was... the trains were going incredibly fast and often would derail and crash. It was so odd that I'm inclined to call it a prime number. Yes, yes... THAT odd!

And now, some random thoughts of mine.

Those who have belief in themselves do not need a belief in someone, or something else: they do not need religion. Interestingly, humans are the only animals that need to know the reason for their existence to be content.

Every philosopher has criticized society and its corrupt ways. Society is portrayed as a great evil with which we must do away with. I too am guilty of making such accusations. However, we must realize that we are society. When we change, society changes. Instead of listing and discussing the faults of society, we must look in ourselves and find the fundamental flaws, which are accumulated and - ultimately - expressed by society. The solution is not to do away with society, since this means doing away with ourselves; the solution is changing fundamental concepts that people hold so dear. Only then can we be content with our society.

And, of course, our daily quote: The things we see are the same things that are within us. There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself. You can be happy that way, but once you know the other interpretation, you no longer have the choice of following the crowd. - Hermann Hesse's Demian

Hasmig and Sara visited today, we had a lot of fun. I love visitors! Pretty much did nothing the rest of the day. Read first chapter of my philosophy book, it was on the different perspectives on religion and God. Very interesting.

Oh and it was such a gorgeous day! I wish I could have gone out and ran. Soon, mon amour, soon. 8pm and its 84 degrees right now... wow. My stitches are getting very red and very thick. Doctor appointment tomorrow, so I'll know if there is anything wrong with it. Or the fact that my right leg is still completely numb. Shrugggg.

I think I'm finally ready to love again.

And now, the quote of the day: Not how one soul comes to another but how it moves away shows how much they belong together - Nietzsche

Ok its 1:30am and my back is killing me. I was up organizing my books. So far I only have 61 listed, but I'm going to keep adding them. Here's the link to the list, if you want any, let me know:

Book List

Oh and thank you Talin for visiting me today :-)

Do not love because that is the will of your "God". Love is not a word, it is not a dollar to the homeless, it is not an act done one day of the year, or of the month, or of the day. True love is in every breath. Love is not from one person to another. Love is inside. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to resist your temptations. Instead, you must change them. Not in one day, not in one big change. That never works. It must be done slowly, day by day. Ultimately, it is about being at peace with yourself. God is not in a book, or on a golden throne up in the clouds. We are God. Each one of us. We have the power to control the most powerful thing in the universe: ourselves.

The fear and pain I experienced in my dream have made me realize how much I really do care. I must do something about it.

wow havent updated this thing for a longgg time huh? Ok well I had surgery on Tuesday. I went in and got IV plugged in. I was joking with all the nurses and helpers, which they really enjoyed. At around 12:30pm they rolled me into the surgery room, and the last thing I remember is seeing there were 8 people in there and hearing the anasthesialogist saying "here's the good stuff." Then he plugged the good stuff into my IV and I was gone. I woke up at 3pm in the recovery room in A LOT of pain. Oddly, the pain wasn't only in my back, but also in my penis. So I look under the covers and scream WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO??? For a good 5 minutes, I thought they had circumsized me. They called the doctor and he told me that during surgery they had to put a cathod tube in my penis during surgery, and they rolled up the skin to do so. Apparently they had removed the tube, but had forgotten to roll down the skin. I told the nurse to pull it down (she was female) and she asked if i wanted a male nurse to do it. I told her I didn't care so she started pulling it down. She stopped right after I screamed like a cow who just got his feet run over by a soccer team! In agony, I ask "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS?" She gives me this innocent look and says "I'm a girl, I really don't." So she gets a male nurse who puts his hand over my mouth and tells me to take a deep breath. Then he pulls it down. Oh.. my.. GOD! It was the most painful experience of my life!!

After that beautiful experience, I spent until 9pm in the recovery room waiting for a room. The guy who's room I was going to get decided not to leave that day, so I was screwed. I was in quite a lot of pain, so they gave me 5mg of morphine every 10 minutes. After an hour they had to call the doctor to approve of more morphine, because I was getting an excessivly high amount. He said go for it. Woohoo. I had a few people visit me in the recovery room, mostly family. Alex had actually been there since 12pm and stayed with me pretty much all day. Next day he was with me most of the day too. I appreciate it Alex. After I got to my room that night, Anahid, Ester, Sirvart, and Anahid's brother visited me. Visiting me when my entire bloodstream is pretty much morphine isn't the best idea. I remember seeing them, but that's it. Apparently I had said quite a lot of funny shit and was making weird moves with my hands. Shrug. Painful night, had to call the nurse a few times.

Next morning I had their breakfast. It wasn't bad, it was sausage with scrambled eggs, french toast with syrup, and orange juice. Ate it all... it lasted a good 10 minutes. Boom I threw it all up, mostly throwing up the morphine. It was soooooo green! What made me keep throwing up was the fact that that little thing hanging from the back of your throat (forgot the name) was swollen (still is, actually) because they had put a tube down my throat during surgery so I could breathe. Anyways, that expereince passed and I spent the next few hours in pain, trying to deal with it. They no longer gave me morphine in my IV, they switched to narcotic shots in my arm. PAINFUL! At least it helped though. Armine and Narine visited, then Yeva came, then Anahid, Ester, and Sirvart came along. My family was also there. Ohhh let me tell you about my room.

For a hospital room, it was pretty damn nice. It was very big, about the size of my regular room (for those of you who have seen my room, you know it's fairly big) and I had a very beautiful view of the Hollywood Sign. I also had a sink seperate from the bathroom, and a shower (which I never used). The food was also very good, and the service was quick. Anyways...

Last night I was there was VERY VERY painful. I got shots at 1am and 3am, but at 4am it was hurting so bad that tears were rolling out from my eyes like a broken toilet! Got some shots for that... and then at around 11am I got released from the hospital. The drive home was soo damn painful. Dr. Audell wasn't kidding when he said sitting would be very painful. Walked around Sav-on waiting for the Vicodin. Got home and layed down for a while, still in a lot of pain. Family visited me at home and so did Shant, Edrik, and Emin. Thank you all for visiting and supporting me! I really appreciate it. You guys can visit me anytime, just call my cell! And now, back to bed. MUAH!

OH MY GOD!! ANAHID JUST SENT ME THIS! I AM SO TURNED ON!